My Not So Normal Life and A Few Other Things.

I found this from April25th 2019 and somehow it never posted so I thought I would just add it here because I know that a lot of you are struggling this way also. You are not alone at all. I am starting to realize that sometimes even the sweetest kind of person can belittle you and hurt you with their words.  I recently had a day where I was told "Try to Keep Up" on the day I was struggling to walk, and in the most pain due to lack of pain medication s. It cut me to my core.  I would like to think that I am a good person and kind to everyone I meet. But recently it's been pointed out that people feel like I make whatever is being talked about and turn it back to ME. I don't feel like the world is about me by far, I try to make everything about other people and leave me out of it all.  I am not the kind of person that I want to have the spotlight on myself, it makes me uncomfortable because I want to do things right. I know it's crazy being a "Leo" it...

Being Sick is a chore within itself but also having a degenerating autoimmune disease like Lupus makes life a bit more of a struggle.  I have been trying to be more positive in my day to day routine but honestly, all my body wants to do is crash.  I was driving the car the other day to pick up my husband from work and  my body began to crash and my eyelids became heavy so I closed my eyes.  I  had to keep telling my brain that I was driving a car in traffic.  It scares me the things that I have no control over anymore.  I saw my rheumatologist and pain specialist this week.   My Rheumatologist is super nice but I wanted to hurt him for touching all my joints and causing me more pain,  the next day I felt as if I was hit by a mack truck.  He talked about my blood work and how it looks like on top of everything. I have either Lupus Nephrites with symptoms of Either R.A  (Rheumatoid Arthritis), Fibromyalgia....