Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts with the label feelings and thoughts

Lupus thoughts (when insomnia and pain won't go away)

Living with Lupus is a daily fight for me  it's getting harder and harder for me to push through. I am exhausted both mentally and physically, I am beyond fatigued, and I feel and look like i was run down by a diesel. Most days I will get up and brush my hair just to put it back in a messy bun .  I will wash my face and apply sunscreen /moisturizer and if i am feeling up to it Makeup . But Most of the time I just want to sleep , dream of my life without this disease.  I am mad that this is effecting me so bad and that other people are able to work, play and even have a life . I hate staying at home, But i know i can't do the things like i use to .  I hate everyone who say's they just push on through, Like i am not trying too ?  I hate the judgement and whispers at functions or even the grocery store .   I am not the child that my parents adore, I am not the sister in law you want to hang out with , I am not the friend you want .  I ...