My Not So Normal Life and A Few Other Things.

It's a crappy rainy day here so I thought I would sit down and update ya'll . I went to see my Pain doctor recently  to find out that he is leaving his practice. Now i  get to start all over with a new Dr. who knows nothing about me . So Frustrating ! I hate that my luck is always crap. No matter what i do, how i do it, this is what i am left with .  I know that  it is a coincidence at times but this is  more than i can handle .  Why can't it just be simple ?  I am still on medication for Lupus , Pain medication is still my oxycod  and Tramadol .  I upped my Zoloft to 150 mg . which i think has helped . Still having to get my sleep study,physical therapy plus Psychologist started . But Nothing changed Yet! Except the pain is getting worse. Today i woke up and couldn't move my legs at all.  I almost fell on my face, so i sat at the end of my bed and cried .  Any who , I think that this illness was past down genetically .  My mom has Sjogren'

Guess what This blog post is about ? No clue ? LOL  You know it is time for  a monthly Ipsy bag Review.  This has been a rough couple of weeks due to some serious Lupus flares and MS symptoms .  I have slept a lot , haven't wanted to eat or drink as much.  Let's just say it's been bad for pain Management as well.  It's getting warmer so hopefully that helps, crap I just want it to be spring. No more Snow I am over it.. I feel like I am getting worse and so much more weaker I am hoping that it is just because of the winter . I am  trying to stay positive and could use your prayers and good wishes ..  Enough on that let's get into reviewing these 2 bags . We will start with the bag Itself .  This was the month of Feb  you would think it would be a bit more pinky,  red ,love themed Right?  Nope , they decided to go with a denim and orange theme . Look at those cute lips I love that part of my bag. This is a bag that has grown on me ...   

It's 4 am in the morning  and about 22 degrees outside.  I am awake because i am in so much darn pain i can't sleep.  The pain specialist gave me a prescription for a  sleep aide/Pain management,  all it does is keep me wide awake it doesn't stop any pain but increases it more .  When someone says anything to me about my illness. I just imagine how it would feel to just feel something other than pain , hate, ugly,fat,lazy,useless, alive . I feel like it is getting so much worse . I can't stand without almost falling, I can't walk for longer than 20 mins without feeling like i am going to collapse , any physical activity puts me through the ringer . I can't sleep at night so i take naps in the morning because i cant sleep at night .  I am not hungry as much now because i am afraid of how my stomach will react to it . I would rather not eat anything then feel the nausea and pain . I know it is probably hard for someone who has know idea, to understand what