It's a crappy rainy day here so I thought I would sit down and update ya'll .
I went to see my Pain doctor recently to find out that he is leaving his practice. Now i get to start all over with a new Dr. who knows nothing about me . So Frustrating ! I hate that my luck is always crap.
No matter what i do, how i do it, this is what i am left with .
I know that it is a coincidence at times but this is more than i can handle .
Why can't it just be simple ?
I am still on medication for Lupus , Pain medication is still my oxycod and Tramadol .
I upped my Zoloft to 150 mg . which i think has helped . Still having to get my sleep study,physical therapy plus Psychologist started . But Nothing changed Yet! Except the pain is getting worse.
Today i woke up and couldn't move my legs at all.
I almost fell on my face, so i sat at the end of my bed and cried .
Any who , I think that this illness was past down genetically .
My mom has Sjogren's and now was newly diagnosed with a heart condition. I can't remember what is called right now . Lupus Fog.
My grandmother died from cancer and my aunt had it ,but is in remission now .
Just found out my great aunt Valene had MS and Heart issues . So let's just say something was bound to happen to me Right? I pray that none of my kids get it. They already have more traits like their father . Crossing Everything .
It has been a very long time since I have truly felt happy, I am slowly getting there . I just wish that I could walk , I know that if this keeps up i will be in a wheelchair by next year.
My kids are growing up way to fast
My oldest son Khrystian
will be 20 yrs old in April . He is a great kid with so much to offer . He has a learning disability that makes things a bit harder for him to comprehend than most people would , he is a hard worker and the kid has a ton of heart . I know that this illness can't be easy on him and he struggles with a lot of Why's . He is looking for a job because he made the decision to leave .
Now he is job searching and has nothing . He has talked about going to college but just doesn't have the heart to leave he has a fear that he will go away and something will happen to me . I don't want that to hold him back . I am afraid that if i don't push him out he will never leave home . LOL
Logan
is gonna be 18 also in April and he is getting ready to attend college away from home he was accepted into Northern Arizona University. I had no idea he even applied . He is scared to death but he is independent enough that he will do just fine . It's bitter sweet but I am glad he is moving on with HIS life. He is scared , he keeps making all these comments about what if ......
My only daughter Jayedyn
is turning 16
(Also in April) She is brilliant she has been a straight A student all her life . she has major goals and is taking French . She is what I should of been like had things been different . (school Wise)
Camden
is 13 yrs old and he is such a teenager . He used to be so sweet and now he explodes at the drop of a hat . He is trying so hard in school and doing a great job . He aspires to be a police officer.
Mayson
Is 11 yrs old now he is in 6th grade he was struggling so hard and had some major behavioral issues But with the right teacher he has overcome those . He is so smart if only his brain and heart would tell him so . He is such a sweet child and would do anything for you . He will be in Middle school next yr and this scares me I hope that he will grow up a lot this year . I will have to wait and see.
My husband Lonnie
is such a super Hero he has taken on the responsibility of taking on the family and extra things I can't do . He does it without saying a word and never expects anything .
I feel bad and try to help him as much as i can .
He has a stressful job as a HR Director of a pretty big printing company here in Utah . He plays poker with friends as a release and i get that he needs this time . I am super jealous that he does get out and try not to cause a issue about it. He does try to get me out of the house any way he can . I fall in love with something new every day . After 24 yrs this July I can say that i still love this man with all my heart.
My struggle is an issue of Beauty Gurus
I have so much free time that i am watching more you tube than TV .
I watch all these subscriptions and think why can't i be like them? or have half of the stuff they get ? which you can tell that they don't care by the way they push it aside .
If i received product from companies i would cherish it .
I have gotten stuff from Essence Makeup and love it.
I want to buy makeup that I see and can't, which makes me sad and depressed . I know that I don't need it but i want it .
I am a licensed Master Esthetician for 5 yrs now
I know that Makeup is suppose to accentuate beauty . I know that having great skin is the number one priority . I am not gonna lie. I miss working in the spa or doing treatments on clients at their homes . I felt amazing and so smart . I wanted to come out with my own skincare brand but that is in the past .
I still wash my face like i am giving a facial LOL!
My skin is so Bi-polar with this disease i never know how and what will happen . I have spots from where my lupus rash was . Like, do i need a reminder of my rash?
No Thank you .
I still use my skin care from Dermalogica but have tested out other brands, I have too because of this exact reason .
I do my best to still apply my makeup even though I don't use it everyday due to not leaving my house . That also is my issue. I don't wear it everyday so why do i need so much ? I don't want to clutter makeup . Okay, Maybe a few with gorgeous packaging. I am guilty there. LOL
I would love to do more testing and reviewing products . If you know of any please let me know .
I find that this helps my brain feel a bit normal . I just love to do this ..
Well I think this is it for this post LOL sorry to ramble on . Again Thank You for Taking the Time to read Leave me any Comments, suggestions Etc. Below .
As Always Stay Strong Keep Fightin
Love Ya ,
Misty
I went to see my Pain doctor recently to find out that he is leaving his practice. Now i get to start all over with a new Dr. who knows nothing about me . So Frustrating ! I hate that my luck is always crap.
No matter what i do, how i do it, this is what i am left with .
I know that it is a coincidence at times but this is more than i can handle .
Why can't it just be simple ?
I am still on medication for Lupus , Pain medication is still my oxycod and Tramadol .
I upped my Zoloft to 150 mg . which i think has helped . Still having to get my sleep study,physical therapy plus Psychologist started . But Nothing changed Yet! Except the pain is getting worse.
Today i woke up and couldn't move my legs at all.
I almost fell on my face, so i sat at the end of my bed and cried .
My mom has Sjogren's and now was newly diagnosed with a heart condition. I can't remember what is called right now . Lupus Fog.
My grandmother died from cancer and my aunt had it ,but is in remission now .
Just found out my great aunt Valene had MS and Heart issues . So let's just say something was bound to happen to me Right? I pray that none of my kids get it. They already have more traits like their father . Crossing Everything .
It has been a very long time since I have truly felt happy, I am slowly getting there . I just wish that I could walk , I know that if this keeps up i will be in a wheelchair by next year.
My kids are growing up way to fast
My oldest son Khrystian
will be 20 yrs old in April . He is a great kid with so much to offer . He has a learning disability that makes things a bit harder for him to comprehend than most people would , he is a hard worker and the kid has a ton of heart . I know that this illness can't be easy on him and he struggles with a lot of Why's . He is looking for a job because he made the decision to leave .
Now he is job searching and has nothing . He has talked about going to college but just doesn't have the heart to leave he has a fear that he will go away and something will happen to me . I don't want that to hold him back . I am afraid that if i don't push him out he will never leave home . LOL
Logan
is gonna be 18 also in April and he is getting ready to attend college away from home he was accepted into Northern Arizona University. I had no idea he even applied . He is scared to death but he is independent enough that he will do just fine . It's bitter sweet but I am glad he is moving on with HIS life. He is scared , he keeps making all these comments about what if ......
My only daughter Jayedyn
is turning 16
(Also in April) She is brilliant she has been a straight A student all her life . she has major goals and is taking French . She is what I should of been like had things been different . (school Wise)
Camden
is 13 yrs old and he is such a teenager . He used to be so sweet and now he explodes at the drop of a hat . He is trying so hard in school and doing a great job . He aspires to be a police officer.
Mayson
My husband Lonnie
I feel bad and try to help him as much as i can .
He has a stressful job as a HR Director of a pretty big printing company here in Utah . He plays poker with friends as a release and i get that he needs this time . I am super jealous that he does get out and try not to cause a issue about it. He does try to get me out of the house any way he can . I fall in love with something new every day . After 24 yrs this July I can say that i still love this man with all my heart.
Do you watch YouTube?
I have so much free time that i am watching more you tube than TV .
I watch all these subscriptions and think why can't i be like them? or have half of the stuff they get ? which you can tell that they don't care by the way they push it aside .
If i received product from companies i would cherish it .
I have gotten stuff from Essence Makeup and love it.
I want to buy makeup that I see and can't, which makes me sad and depressed . I know that I don't need it but i want it .
I am a licensed Master Esthetician for 5 yrs now
I still wash my face like i am giving a facial LOL!
My skin is so Bi-polar with this disease i never know how and what will happen . I have spots from where my lupus rash was . Like, do i need a reminder of my rash?
No Thank you .
I still use my skin care from Dermalogica but have tested out other brands, I have too because of this exact reason .
I do my best to still apply my makeup even though I don't use it everyday due to not leaving my house . That also is my issue. I don't wear it everyday so why do i need so much ? I don't want to clutter makeup . Okay, Maybe a few with gorgeous packaging. I am guilty there. LOL
I would love to do more testing and reviewing products . If you know of any please let me know .
I find that this helps my brain feel a bit normal . I just love to do this ..
As Always Stay Strong Keep Fightin
Love Ya ,
Misty
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