Skip to main content

Lupus thoughts and ramblings




Such hurtful words are being said to the chronic illness family.

 First off it's not in our heads it's real. I couldn't make this stuff up or would Want to!
Second* Just because we are sick doesn't mean we are Dead.  
With that being said.  It just means we are way more sensitive to the things you say to us or your actions show. We Already feel Worthless, Useless, and a Huge Burden on everyone anyway. 
 Just know we don't want to feel like this but have "NO choice" in the matter. 
People can say things not meaning to buy it comes across different to us.. I have heard of even the strongest marriages collapse because of communication it's either too much or lack of..  (I also know each side have a story to tell) 
But please  Remember we are still breathing ,we want to fight but sometimes are bodies won't let us.... we want to be included, even if we can't go. Just the courtesy of asking is enough for us to feel normal because we turned it down our selves.  Ya know? 
We want to feel loved and that we do matter,  We also want you to realize we may do things different now, so be a bit more patient with us.  We may say we want to die but TBH that's are way of saying my pain tolerance is at its highest I just want it to end. 
So many people choose to end it all. 
I can see and understand why now. 
But just hold on...Another day is in sight and you will conquer that one too. 
As I am laying in bed crying because of pain,  sadness and heartbreaks over the Why's of this disease. 
Just love us, know we want to be out doing things, we are a bit of a mess (LUPUS Fog is really real... ) We know it's not just us it's everyone we love going through the same stuff just a bit different them us.. Anywho this is where I say Goodbye or I will ramble on. 
Thanks for talking the time to read. 
 As Always Stay Strong & Keep On                                       Fighting,
                           XOXO
                            Misty



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Life 2020-2021 Getting back into this.

  So as the whole world has struggled with the pandemic it's an understatement as to how I have been, my kids and, my husband. I am not going to lie and say that it didn't affect me in an immense way  I went down a severe hole into depression and, let's just say my mental health was a nightmare  I wanted to die and, just didn't have the strength to do it myself so I would lay in bed and, starve myself hoping I wouldn't wake up the next time. The real struggle came at night because of my insomnia I would lay in my bed and, think about all the things I couldn't do or wanted but, I just didn't have the strength to, I would think about how much better my husband would have been marrying someone else how I have ruined his life how mean I was to him and didn't even think or want to be. How he is carrying on with his life and me, I'm just better off dead because that is exactly how I feel like a person suffering from all this crap.  My kids don't seem t...

Let's talk showers

  Let's talk showers  No, not the kind that falls from the sky when it rains. No, not meteors, but regular showers people take to keep clean. A regular person is in the shower up to 5-10 mins maybe 15 at the most. Well for someone with Lupus, MS and Fibromyalgia it's so much longer. For instance, it took me almost an hour to shower the other day. Why is this you ask? Well, I can barely stand on my own, and do things like lift my hands to shampoo my hair without being so exhausted I have to sit down.  So it begins, the clock ticking away. *10 mins gone * sitting down. Once I finally can I stand back up and commence the ritual of the shower  but wait, after *10 more mins* I need to take a breath before I pass out (literally) it takes sitting down and breathing slowly to make it not feel like my heart is going to leap out of my chest.  I look at my handy dandy Fossil smartwatch and it says my BPM is 140 which I believe.  I try to slow down my breathing, a...

March Ipsy Bag Review

I hope everyone had an amazing month. And “Lá fhéile Pádraig sona dhuit!”“ Which means Happy St.Patrick's Day to you! Mine was a lil tough because of my Lupus and St.Patrick's Day is always hard for me that is the day my Grandma on my mom's side passed away. This one i was in bed for it was a rough time with my lupus and pain . BUT.... Other than that Let’s jump into the March Bag I will be doing Jayedyn’s Bag first. The Bag for the Month- is all about Women and it’s filled with brand products that female’s founded and girl boss staples. #ipsySHEro The bag is cute and it says on the front And off she went to change the world. This makes me sad and proud at the same time. Just because my only daughter is leaving for college in the Fall and I know that it will come faster than I would like. I am trying to spend as much time as my Lupus will let me. It’s not an easy process for me, and I hate it. But enough on that let’s re...